Wat is spiritualiteit en wat kan ik ermee; een ontdekkingsreis naar
de diepere betekenis van een spiritueel (Yoga of Vedanta) leven.
Metaphysical Musing Introduction
This website is dedicated to Metaphysical Musing - my metaphysical writings based on my own 40 years of meditation, reading, and research. Who am I? I am anyone whoever sought the truth, whoever felt themselves to be a ‘stranger in a strange land’, whoever longed for their freedom.
I was born almost 60 years ago in the wild-wild-west. From the very first time I remember feeling, I felt misplaced, born out of family, out of time, from another planet. In 1964, I began to seriously study what I now collectively call metaphysics – the search for truth ‘beneath the curtain of each atom.’
Over the years I have read hundreds of books on metaphysics, spirituality, and religion. I have found the Sanskrit texts of Hinduism and the writings of the Sufis to speak more clearly – at least to me. This website will include many sources, but for the past two years I have been focusing on translations of the Sanskrit texts and thus my understandings will reflect these timeless and eternal ancient teachings.
Nothing is set in stone. Nothing. These words are only meant to inspire you and invite you to wander through your holographic reality, and there create your own inimitable, private, personal relationship with the God-within you. Question everything and never believe anything that does not resonate with your own inner being.
Your path Home is unique to you and solely yours. Why would Isness/God, who is infinitely diverse in It’s manifestations, want us all to realize our Oneness in the same way? Clones are only useful to the mechanisms of control and consumption; with little or no imagination, they are disposable. Find your own Way. That is the future of Truth.
The basics of my current understanding:
God is everything and every one – meaning IS-ness pervades the entire universe, you and every other living being, and the myriad other universes.
God pervades this & every other universe, and simultaneously dwells in our heart – meaning God dwells within the Heart Chakra of every human being waiting for us to turn to that, ‘the With-in’ and in Rembrance of what we have always been, become One again.
God/Isness is LOVE - not elusive personal human love, but LOVE as the entire Field of Creation, the force that unifies all others.
We are currently living in the Twilight of the Age of Conflict & Confusion - the Kali Yuga, as it is known in Sanskrit. We humans are like supercomputers with no user’s manual. Through the power of time, the frequencies of the Kali Yuga have literally cooked our consciousness, reducing our awareness to the limited five senses.
Access to the myriad worlds beyond the prison of the five senses is our God given Right. The paranormal is normal in other Cycles of Time. The so-called secret, veiled and hidden teachings are only secret because 99% of the inhabitants of this planet are currently so shut down that they are no longer capable of understanding the Real.
Sex is not physical. Sex is sacred and can allow you to achieve specific states of higher consciousness. These states of consciousness can serve to enlighten you. Or if it is your intention to bring children into this world, attract souls.
ETs are in fact the diverse inhabitants of what is known as the Loka Worlds or Myriad Realms, or in the west as the astral planes. The etymology of the word ‘astral’ is star - and the ETs are merely the beings within the myriad layers of multidimensional realms that have always existed all around us.
We humans are genetically linked to these various hyper-dimensional ET races. Some are evolved and friendly – others are not. They may have amazing abilities and grand however limited wisdom, but they not yet liberated from multiplicity - they are not enlightened.
Location is the result of consciousness. Thus you contact the beings within the Invisible Realms and the extraterrestrials you resonate with - some see demons, while others see angels.
The countless heavens and hells so vividly described in every religion are illusory temporal realms created over the Four Cycles of Time (only one MAHA-YUGA of 71 within a MANVANTARA) by the mind of man. They are temporal, and not eternal.
We are blinded-by-science. Science has given us many comforts, but it is also leading us to our own extinction. Why? Because modern science is based solely on the mathematical tools of the five senses. It virtually ignores the invisibleto-us realms that support the visible world, because most scientists simply do not have the consciousness to apprehend these nested and intertwined implicate metaphysical realities.
The Truth isn’t ‘out there’ – the Truth is within, through the Heart. Now is the time for us all to wake up, to REMEMBER who we are, to return to our Home within, and to open the Gate on the Path for the next Cycle of Time.
My Personal Journey
I have recently discovered a writer and thinker so brilliant that I am in the process of reforming my entire understanding of my place in this universe. His pen name is Krishna Chaitanya – his real name appears to be K.K. Nair. Because of his influence on my thinking, I have decided to share some personal aspects of my life, which perhaps will help you to understand why I was so open to the worldview of K.K Nair (aka Krishna Chaitanya); and I am sure many of you have had similar questions and feelings.
Some of you know me as V.S. (Susan) Ferguson. In 1995 I wrote Inanna Returns and Inanna Hyper-Luminal. I spent two years lecturing and met many, many fine and wonderful people. But I came away from the so-called New Age movement deeply disappointed and entirely heartbroken. Surely something was missing.
My Experience of 9/11
In the year 2000 I moved back to New York City, where I had lived for most of my adult life. Thus I was there for 9/11. The entire city was in total shock, as was the world. But in NYC an eerie silence hung over the normally noisy bustling city like an evil veil – a silence broken only by the sound of F-16 jet fighters. I was not downtown on that terrible day, but I was near enough to see the smoke and smell the acrid toxic fumes as they drifted into my apartment.
Bizarrely I was living in a building that was next door to one of the funeral homes where the bodies were being brought. My mother was the 7th child of the 7th child and I have always been able to see and communicate with the deceased. Let me assure you that this is not a gift that you should envy or want to cultivate.
On that day 9/11, the spirits of the dead were coming up into my apartment. They were simply looking for someone who could recognize them, who was able to see them. They were bewildered, lost in deep shock as you might imagine. I could see them as severely burned, their bodies covered in blood; some were half recognizable and still in their business attire. I tried to comfort them as much as possible and help them to move on.
For those of you who read my previous website before I began Metaphysical Musing, you know that for many years I was very much involved in the world. I had spent years studying what had gone wrong, the poisoning of our food-air-water and the earth, the seemingly intentional dumbing us down, the unbelievable corruption and greed in governments - the general visible heinous symptoms of the inexorable Kali Yuga. Therefore I was not taken by complete surprise at the events on 9/11 – but I was not prepared, nor could anyone be, for the effect the attacks had on me emotionally, on my psyche. Like so many, I felt utterly helpless.
I resolved to move away from my beloved Big Apple; and as the character Gracie in Inanna Returns headed for the mountains in the Pacific Northwest, I moved into the forest near the Blue Ridge Mountains. In my life I have retreated into Nature at various times and this seclusion has always served me well. Thus for the past 2 1/2 years I have been a virtual
hermit seeing and speaking with almost no one. I have spent my time primarily in meditation and reading translations of the Sanskrit texts. To balance this isolation I watched Indian cinema, not just Bollywood, but also the wonderful Bengali, Tamil, and Teluga films.
I am not a scholar and I can tell you that in the beginning reading the translations of these Sanskrit texts did not come easy. There were days I would spend hours reading one paragraph or one page. But over time I became accustomed to a completely different cultural context – meaning different from my own American culture – and the reading became easier. For example, I began to read the Puranas at night before I went to sleep as I enjoyed their story form. I read the more arduous doctrinal texts, such as the Upanishads, the Vedas (Shyam Ghosh’s Rig Veda), or the Shivä Samhita, the Gheranda Samhita, and the Patanjali Yogasutra (Shyam Ghosh) in the mornings, when my mind was hopefully open and clear.
In the past 2½ years I have read (some texts not in their entirety) from: The Mahabharata, 7 different translations of the Bhagavad Gita (which is within the Mahabharata), the Brahma Purana, the Shiva Purana, the Bhagavata Purana, the Vayu Purana, the Linga Purana, the Vishnu Purana, the Skandha Purana, and the Varaha Purana. I have read extensively the writings and teachings of the Kashmir Saivites, Abhinavagupta and Swami Lakshmanjoo.
I read many books on Samkhya including Kapila and The Samkhya Karika of Ishvara Krishna. I became familiar with the teachings of Sankara and Ramanuja and many others. I read extensively into the long history of Bhakti Yoga in India. I also read the brilliant writings of Rene Guenon, Alain Danielou, and David Shulman, which greatly helped my entry into the
inscrutable realms of Sanskrit metaphysics.
Even though I occasionally felt sad and frustrated that I had failed to find a living guru, I essentially trusted the God-within me. I seem to have a mysterious marvelous gift in that whenever a particularly obstinate and profound question is eluding me and driving me nuts, I will inevitably find the answer in a book often quite by chance. Perhaps this is just my path based on the fact that I have the planet Jupiter in my ninth house. However this jadoo works, it is always a source of wonder and joy for me, as well as a bit of fun.
Of all the books I have read, none changed my consciousness as powerfully as the Bhagavad Gita. I was reading J.A.B van Buitenen’s translation when my heart and mind first truly opened to this timeless book of verse, for the Bhagavad Gita is a Sanskrit poem. That fine warm summer’s day when at last Krishna’s words began to have real meaning for me, I cried and cried and cried. Even now sometimes when I read a verse, the sweetest tears pool up in my eyes and I am overwhelmed with awe, love, and gratitude.
One day in the middle of a particularly painful struggle for a deeper understanding, I stood in a doorway, crying, looking out into the green forest, and said over and over, “Krishna is my guru … Krishna is my guru … Krishna is my guru …”
So when the writings of the Indian scholar Krishna Chaitanya, aka K.K. Nair, came into my life, I knew that once again … Krishna is my guru.
Occasionally there comes along in this world a mind that does have the capacity to study and comprehend it all! That would be Krishna Chaitanya/KK Nair. I suppose it took me these past years of study to even be ready to understand the clarity of genius of KK Nair. Krishna Chaitanya is his pen name and I am going to call him KK Nair so as not to confuse the reader with Krishna the Hindu deity and hero of the Bhagavad Gita - or the Bengal Saint Chaitanya (1486-1534).
KK Nair died in the early 1990s. If he were still alive today, I would be writing him letters of gratitude because it is KK Nair’s enormously huge understanding of not only the ancient Sanskrit texts, but also of all western thinking as well that has opened an entire new and extremely exhilarating door for me.
KK Nair/Krishna Chaitanya is published by Clarion Books in New Delhi India. But many of his books are now difficult to come by. I hope this is soon remedied. It seems to me that hundreds of innocent seekers might have been spared the pain and emotional scars of imperious cults if they had read KK Nair’s understanding of the Bhagavad Gita and Krishna himself in KK
Nair’s final book, The Betrayal of Krishna, Vicissitudes of a Great Myth.
The book jacket from Clarion publishing house gives us some insight into the accomplishments of this great man: one of the most original and stimulating minds, India’s nearest approximation to the Renaissance man, the author of nearly 40 books. KK Nair wrote a five-volume philosophy of freedom for which he got a Jawaharlal Nehru Fellowship and which has been compared to the works of Thomas Aquinas, Herbert Spencer, Whitehead, and Teilhard de Chardin; a ten-volume history of world literature in English and several Indian languages, among many others. The accolades go on, but suffice to say KK Nair possessed a rare and highly exceptional breadth and depth of intelligence.
Become the partner of the God-within you
In his book The Betrayal of Krishna, KK Nair/Krishna Chaitanya says, “the entire meaning of the Gita can be regarded as being revealed in that moment when Krishna asks Arjuna to become the efficient cause (nimitta) of the doom of Duryodhana’s vast armies.” In other words, Krishna asks Arjuna to be the instrument for ridding the world of evil.
“Its profound meaning is that only man can act on the plane of history for its divinisation; deity can only inspire him; man is free to accept or reject that inspiration; when he accepts it he becomes the partner of God, his active agent and not passive tool, for realizing God’s design which he too need accept only after the most through critical assessment.” [p.412-3]
We do indeed all have Free Will. We can choose to work with and for the God-within – or we can ignore the Source of everything and our own essence and continue to spiral down through the Cycles of Time in the mechanistic automaton (yantra rudhana) of our gunas, the small personality self with its myriad of compulsions.
Of course first we have to realize that there is a particle of the omniscient Creator within us – all of us. This is not an easy task here in the Kali Yuga where we are hard pressed and manipulated from all sides stay busy, to work only to consume more and more ephemeral nothings, and to be continually entertained in a completely shallow manner. There is very little
encouragement for any of us to find the time think as individuals, to quietly contemplate the universe and our relationship to it, to spend hours, even days in solitude and meditation.
But unlike temporal pleasures, the rewards of solitude and meditation are enormous and lasting.
Over the past 2½ years I have had many trials. I certainly would not say that this has been an easy time for me or that the realizations and experiences I have achieved came effortlessly. But they did come!
I don’t think it is of much value to share my exact experiences with you because yours will be different. That is as it should be. But in the context of understanding KK Nair’s statement on the meaning of the Bhagavad Gita, I want to share with you something that I believe happens to all who walk deeply into the inner worlds.
At a certain point in your inner experiences, along with the glorious visions and sublime subtle bliss, one does feel what many have called the Void. You give up your sense of the personal temporal identity-self and hold your consciousness in a place of utter Peace. This state of being can be said to be without qualities (nirguna). There is only the eternal imperishable (akshara).
After many exalting, enlightening, blissful experiences I would always come around to the same thought: “Ok, now what?”
You may laugh, but I am sure I am not alone in this.
You see there is snare in mysticism. I sincerely believe that I could go on creating amazingly blissful experiences in my consciousness until I leave this world. I would merely be allowing that which I have always been and always will be to express through me. The God-within-you is always there in your heart, always – or you would be dead. This is revealed to you when you allow it.
However the Void is emptiness and Being should not, in Becoming, end up as a kind of annihilation into Nothing. As KK Nair points out, liberation should not move towards self-extinction and an excuse for doing nothing.
Therefore, in line with the thoughts of KK Nair/Krishna Chaitanya, we may come to understand that the purpose of Life is not to escape it, not to realize the God-within and then leave the troubles of this world. We are not here to pursue escape from Hamlet’s slings and arrows of outrageous fortune – but rather we are here to see what we will do when the hounds of darkest hell are biting at our heels ... and without attachment to reward.
What would an eternal all powerful being do when cloaked in the Veil of Forgetting and the solidification of matter? What choices will we make? Will we blame others and as perfect victims follow the path of weakness interminably whining, weeping, and bewailing our fate? Or will we as KK Nair says, after “the most through critical assessment” accept God’s
inspiration and become “the partner of God, his active agent and not passive tool, for realizing God’s design.”
Perhaps this universe can be understood as the Creator’s master poem, the ultimate work of Art, a weaving of waveforms, sound and vision, a grand cosmic film with you and me as actors on the stage of the temporal illusory hologram. Will we play out our character with tenacity, courage and conviction - or be washed away in a sea of toxic consumption and mind numbing comforts that leave us bored, fat and empty?
More to on the excellent works of Krishna Chaitanya/KK Nair to follow …
The Betrayal of Krishna, The Vicissitudes of a Great Myth
Krishna Chaitanya (KK Nair)
Clarion Books, 1991, New Delhi India
The Mahabharata, A Literary Study
Krishna Chaitanya (KK Nair)
Clarion Books, 1985,1995, New Delhi India
The Gita for Modern Man
Clarion Books; 1st edition 1986, New Delhi India
My sincere heartfelt thanks to exoticindiaart.com and their online bookstore!
William Shakespeare - from As You Like It
All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances …
The Purpose of Life
“It is in the finest reach of man’s consciousness
that God abides or reveals himself most fully.”
The above sentence, written by the brilliant and renowned Indian scholar Krishna Chaitanya, expresses to me the most profoundly beautiful of thoughts. For after all is said and done, what’s it all about? Why did the creator make this awesome universe and wrap Itself within us mortals? Just for play? For ‘sport’ as some of the Sanskrit texts say?
Perhaps in the long run there is no possibility of ever permanently fixing, healing, and making right this world, as hard as we may try and breaking our hearts in the effort. We will always be caught in the flux of temporality as time washes over us, assailing our consciousness from storm to shore.
We cannot hope to resolve things here, especially in the Kali Yuga. We can only act in every given moment to the highest and greatest extent of our ability. That ‘momentary best’ will surely not be the result of being drowned in pop-consumer-culture, in media manipulation, or in piles of possessions that only bring a fleeting empty satisfaction.
Thus we are left to understand this: What truly matters is that we focus on the quality and consciousness of our actions rather than their results. In these sad and degenerate days, most are driven by consumption, by stupid greed, and the anger that destroys intelligence.
Urged on by our endless fears and insecurities, perhaps under the hazy spell of alcohol or drug induced compulsions, we commit acts we inevitably regret. We take actions that leave us scarred, unfulfilled, hopeless, and isolated from our fellow man. It’s called sin. The metaphysical meaning of sin is the state of being deluded by attachment.
Happy mystics often say that God is irresistible. Surely we can all hope to reconnect with what is less temporal, less vulnerable to Hamlet’s “slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.” We all carry the hope of finding and abiding in the ineluctable eternal, because we all sense its presence somewhere deep within each and every one of us, if only we could find the key.
I often try to imagine my consciousness back in the Satya Yuga, the Golden Age, when I knew that I was a particle of the Creator wrapped in the beginnings of a grand illusory adventure. The adventure is illusory only in the sense that it is temporal, subject to death and dissolution. There is nothing in the external world that will not decay, rot and ruin, and die in
time. This world is an ephemeral, impermanent, fleeting adventure. It is not eternal, immutable and imperishable, like the God-within.
The illusion seems real enough when we are lost in it. Certainly the adventure is not illusory to the five senses when we run into that proverbial brick wall. Ouch! Our deluded attachment to the perceived apparent reality of the holographic illusion steadily grows, as our consciousness is ever moving through Time towards density from one cycle of time down into the
next. Thus we perceive a kind of ‘solidification’ of matter (Rene Guenon). The veil we ourselves create thickens, and by the Kali Yuga, the Age of Conflict & Confusion, we have forgotten.
I like to imagine our consciousness in the golden Satya Yuga era. We are in that time filled with bliss consciousness. We do not need other beings to experience fulfillment. We spend our time in contemplation because that is where our Bliss is! We do not need anyone to flatter our still undeveloped ego. We know to go within and create the consciousness we have always known - our eternal Self that remains forever pure and untouched by what will envelope us in the coming yugas.
Because in that now lost golden frequency, we are closer to the vast ocean of Love that underlies this universe. The comfort and strength that comes from Bliss consciousness and real Knowledge allows us to be curious, to wonder what we might do if we are cut off from such Knowledge and our source of Bliss. What will we do? We are drawn into the hologram. Will the
compulsions of the five senses overwhelm our memory? Can we remain calm and serene, intelligent and therefore, courageous.
Will the God that eternally abides within reveal Itself in the finest reach of our human consciousness, even in the darkest of days here in the confusion of the Kali Yuga. Surely the exploration of this secret sacred place, meaning, the finest reach of man’s consciousness, is the reason we all came into this universe. The purpose of Life is to immerse ourselves and revel in the great adventure of God veiling Itself within us all, and to one day awaken to smile those mysterious compassionate smiles of Krishna and Buddha and many others.
Quotation excerpted from:
The Betrayal of Krishna, Vicissitudes of a Great Myth
Clarion Books, 1991, New Delhi
The Reign of Quantity
Originally published in French, 1945
Sophia Perennis, 2001, Ghent, NY